


dark roast

by sunflower_8



Series: amasai week 2020 !! [7]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Asexual Character, Complicated Relationships, Depression, M/M, mentioned acephobia, sorry - Freeform, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:20:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23263123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_8/pseuds/sunflower_8
Summary: he finishes making the coffee and gives it to the customer. his eyes dart up to the clock; it’s almost ten pm. the place should be closing in around fifteen minutes.as he stares at the dark roast coffee beans, he wonders if he’s burning out.(or, rantaro ends up in a coffee shop)
Relationships: Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi
Series: amasai week 2020 !! [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1665994
Comments: 7
Kudos: 30





	dark roast

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silveryyy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silveryyy/gifts).



rantaro wonders if he could have been more than this.

it’s not like he chose to be a barista out of pure interest and want. he didn’t apply to a poorly-maintained cafe for some altruistic reason. he needed money. he _still_ needs money, ever since his father denounced him in front of four step-mothers and told him to get the fuck out of the amami manor. he is a barista because it pays and there’s enough downtime for him to do other things. 

it doesn’t stop the thought that he could have been so,  _ so  _ much better.

he stopped talking to his friends after they graduated from hope’s peak. he left them under the assumption that he was travelling, but it was more realistic to say that he abandoned them due to some negative feelings (an episode lasting three years, so maybe there’s something else to be examined there). he still misses them, all the time. he wants to talk to kaede again, to hear her music on a piano. he really wants to see kaito, who went to space. he just wants to listen to korekiyo’s stories one more fucking time.

but he made this decision. seeing the incredible things they are all doing, following their ultimate talents to a bright future… who can blame him for cutting ties?

well, it’s not like anyone else knows. but he blames himself more than anyone should.

he likes his coworkers just fine. he doesn’t go to their birthday parties or talk to them after hours. most of his conversations are with new employees, where he explains and allows them to ask questions before never talking to them again. he doesn’t even really have to push other people away explicitly-- people just  _ know _ . 

the manager once asked him if he was going to take off during the holidays to see family. he wanted to tell her that there’s no family left to see except from his not-really-dad and never-really-moms. the manager doesn’t press when he never takes a sick day off. 

rantaro takes an order and starts making the latte the customer asked for. he knows that being tied down to a workplace is going to stop him from ever finding his sisters. it isn’t that he lost hope-- he will find them, someday, and that’s a promise he will die with. it’s more like a lack of motivation. the endless fear of failure keeps him from success, and he doesn’t know how to tell his manager that he hardly has a home to return to, anyway.

he finishes making the coffee and gives it to the customer. his eyes dart up to the clock; it’s almost ten pm. the place should be closing in around fifteen minutes.

as he stares at the dark roast coffee beans, he wonders if he’s burning out. 

he’s planning on taking it easy, not expecting many other customers. however, he’s jarred from this thinking when he hears a familiar voice, “rantaro?”

he turns around to see shuichi saihara, one of his closest friends in high school and the hardest one to leave behind. he also doubles as rantaro’s ex; there weren’t any hard feelings, but it would be a lie to say rantaro doesn’t still think of him. his coworker raises an eyebrow and takes the next few customers and rantaro stares. 

he really, really should have known that if anybody could track him down, it would be the world famous detective.

“what would you like to order?” rantaro asks, his voice more hollow than it usually is.

shuichi shakes his head, “hold on. all of us were wondering where you went, rantaro. the high school reunion was just a few weeks ago. we thought you were travelling, but you changed your phone number and-”

rantaro shrugs, grabbing a rag and cleaning the countertop so he seems somewhat productive. “i’ve been here for three years.”

“working at an american cafe?” shuichi looks incredulous. “rantaro, you hate staying stagnant. you always wanted to move places, to travel… you’re  _ restless. _ ”

it’s true he hasn’t gotten more than five hours of sleep in the past week, but he doesn’t think that’s what shuichi meant. “don’t have the money,” he replies.

“what about your father?”

“wanted to have grandkids,” he smirks sardonically to himself. “kind of hard when your only child is ace.”

“you can always stay with me, rantaro,” shuichi immediately offers. “i’m not in america for long, it’s just a case, but i have a two bedroom place in japan. i’m fine with you living there; you can see the others again. they miss you.  _ i  _ miss you.”

it’s so tempting. it makes him want to throw away his nametag and walk out of the cafe, hop on a plane back to shuichi and stay there. but he  _ knows _ he would be leeching off of him. he could get a job in japan, sure, but being around shuichi in this state constantly…

… he doesn’t want to show weakness to a person who has always cared. 

“i can’t, shuichi. i’m sorry.” it hurts like a bitch to say.

shuichi looks at him silently, his expression neutral and almost calculating. finally, he concedes, “let me give you my number. so that if anything happens, i can come. i will pay for a flight to get you to japan if that’s what you need, rantaro. i seriously will.” he writes the number on rantaro’s arm in a neat, small print. “i really miss having you around, taro, so even if you just want to visit, i will be elated to actually see you again.”

rantaro nods. “shu, don’t tell the others i’m here.”

the detective presses his lips together before sighing. “fine. but they miss you a lot.”

“i miss them.” before shuichi can ask his predictable question, rantaro continues, “but it’s not easy.”

“what went wrong, rantaro?” the green-haired man doesn’t reply, and shuichi eventually gives up. “can you get me a black coffee?”

rantaro’s shoulders relax a little. “sure.”

he wishes everything was easier.

**Author's Note:**

> gifted to silveryyy because you're really really really nice and an amazing author. sorry if this isn't really good, it's hastily written and i wasn't in the mental place to really go through and edit. i hope it isn't too depressing. 
> 
> (day seven was free choice, by the way.)
> 
> amasai week was really, really cool. thanks, toxicpineapple and storyflight for hosting.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Good life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23646232) by [ToxicPineapple](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToxicPineapple/pseuds/ToxicPineapple)




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